Melissa

So ok, I had one zima that oughta loosen up the thoughts or make em swim...

My one nursing mom comes to me this morning. I am concerned that when I arrived at 430 Sierra was over ratio. SO this is 30 min, technically about 20 after I leave, and the girl has 5 babies. This i Understand. SO this 19 year old who already doesn't like me starts getting visibly frustrated because I left her over ratio which for the non day care people is 4 babies to 1 teacher. SHe complains in front of one on my more particular parents. THey are all particular. But shit.
SO i spend the first 10 to 20 min convincing and reassuring this parent that we know what were doing.


>>>I realize that 5 years from now, will this be a blip on my little radar of life? Probably not. As I am sure I will be as particular a parent as I encounter.

SO I go to my director and explain this and some of my other concerns and she all about tells me that I alone am responsible for Everything that goes on in my room, even after I leave, WEll shit lady I thought you were responsible for making the schedule? SO no matter if I have stuff to do at 430 like pick my brother up, that really isn't her concern


I think well ok, she understands, but yet she doesn't because she is saying that no matter I am married to this fucking job. WEll even though I love my babies. I am NOT not married to this fucking day care.


Yeah im walking back to Willies for more Zimas....more later.

So I am feeling better. I had much of a lite week with maximum 4 kids in my room, so as a result I cleaned and scrubbed the room and Amy's side too. It was a good break from the crazy hectic ness. I got off early on thur. and fri. I enjoyed the sun and broke out the bike for its voyage for the season. We got a bike rack because of course after 4 hours of riding my bike, I then couldn't ride it home. I am excited that I went so far and so much with it. Lieza said i looked skinny but I think that is because I didn't eat for a week...

Erin's baby shower is May 20th and I have already shopped for her. I think in shopping for her I have allowed myself to possibly get excited about my own family. We are still filling out the application for the Minority Urban League. It takes forever. WE have to get our TB proof again, a Fire inspection and a Police Report. OY, 50 dollars later. We found a crib at Burlington that is 4 beds in one and only 250! Aside from the fact that the side doesn't come down I can't find any reason why that isn't the crib for us. I think it may get purchased before a wedding thing. Course we ran into a girl who may be able to do the wedding invitations for what I can assume to be inexpensively. And all of this seems to help keep our minds off the fact that the only person sleeping in Keylies bed has four feet and licks themselves. I rode my bike through the Rose Garden, took pictures and secretly hoped our little love bug would be at the playground. Alas she wasn't. I sent a text to the GF saying to tell her we miss her. I hope she has a heart and tells her. Especially because she is the person who helped mess it up.
Connie has coast guard day at Darien Lake, so if history repeats, She will get to see her. But there is a possibility that she'd leave her at home, but unlikely. THen i thought I could go to, on the off chance we could see her. Maybe just maybe, in the end its best for it to be over, but I really have a hard time telling myself that. I miss her

IN the end, she knows we love her and miss her when we don't see her. I shall just send her love.

More later, M

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thanks for the busy work Karen

(x) your own cell phone
( ) a tv in your bedroom
(x) an ipod (I still think that the shuffle doesn't really count as a real iPod, especially if you got it for free.)
(x) a photo printer
(x) your own phone line
( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(x) high-speed internet access (aka not dialup)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
( ) dvd player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs (I don't *think* so, but I'd have to count. It might be.)
(x) a childfree bathroom
(x) your own in-house office
( ) a pool
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
(x) a queen-size bed
( ) a stocked bar
(x) a working dishwasher, in the basement, so it could work if our landlord would install the fucking thing
( ) an icemaker
(x) a working washer and dryer
(x) more than 20 pairs of shoes
(x) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses
( ) framed authentic art (not lithographs)
(x) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
(x) a multi-speed bike
(x ) a gym membership, sore subject fuckers
( ) large exercise equipment at home
( ) your own set of golf clubs
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
( ) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
(x) your own pair of skis, used to, think they didnt make it from Cottage street
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area (
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
(x) two or more family cars
( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
(x) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
( ) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
(x) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
(x) a passport, its expired
(x ) a horse, does a toy count?
(x) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)its gone now however, damn dyouville
( ) private medical insurance
( ) a college degree, but no student loans

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
(x) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
(x) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

Have you:
() been on a cruise
(x) traveled out of the country
(x) met a celebrity ...Ani D count?
() been to the Caribbean
(x ) been to Europe
( ) been to Hawaii
(x) been to New York
( ) eaten at the space needle in Seattle
( ) been to the Mall of America
(x ) been on the Eiffel tower in Paris well stood at its base and took a plethora of pictures...
(x) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York___ seen it from far away, plans got screwy
(x) moved more than three times because you wanted to (as opposed to losing your house or being evicted)
( ) dined with local political figures
(x) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast (in any country)

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
( ) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
( ) attend private school
(x) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

That was fun...

So, It has been quite a full week. I suppose if it were boring, I'd have nothing to think/ponder/worry about. And as I chew off every last little bit of growth of fingernail, I contemplate my options as to what to do. So I trusted a girl once, got burned, twice, got burned again. WHat makes me want to trust people even to my own detriment.

Do we love from afar, as in no influence or do we make up with the cunt in order to stay in her life?
WHat was our life like prior to knowing her? what was mine like? Did I just focus my attention on my brother, zionts, other children. What makes her so different? In the beginning I was trying to keep Connie and Keylie connected, and as a benefit, I got to be a part of this special little girls life. Now 3 years later, I love her, and want to protect her. We have absolutely no control and She knows it. So we let her have her control and let go. Every time we have to walk on egg shells like she's some delicate wild flower. Enough's enough.

So I dont know, but against my better judgement, I will listen to my voice mail so that I can not allow her to control me any further.

According to wikipedia.com, September 12 in history:
1609 - Henry Hudson discovers the Hudson River.

1953 - John F. Kennedy marries Jackie Bouvier.

1992 - Mae Carol Jemison becomes the first African-American woman in space on STS-47.

Births:

1575 - Henry Hudson, English explorer

1907 - Louis MacNeice, Northern Irish poet (d. 1963

1966 - Ben Folds, American musician

1980-Me

Deaths:

1683 - King Afonso VI of Portugal (b. 1643)

1941 - Hans Spemann, German embryologist, recipient of the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine (b. 1869)

2003 - Johnny Cash, American singer and guitarist (b. 1932)

a fucking side of the street to park the muther fucking cars on. PICK ONE> I can't remember which side to park on. I think about it every time I park, WHY can't i figure this out without paying the cock suckers in BUFFALO 40 dollars every time I make a mistake. THERE IS NO SNOW< why must we switch, DOES IT really fucking matter that much. OH wait maybe cuz they have no fucking money so they are going to screw over the little people, well FUCK. YOU. Very MUCH. I hate alternate parking THE city can go to hell.

and now my fucking toes hurt from kicking and screaming my bloddy head off in the middle of the nite. I dont care who is sleeping and which neighbors hear me connie

Ok I have five minutes to feel better about this day. SO now the retards that are in charge are taking my assistant before she even quits so now I have to retrain a new girl Jessica. Lovely. This is exactly why noone stays in child care. Why would we have to work so hard to get everyone on the same page. I dont want to anymore. Why must this be difficult as it is. Why do i have all the high maintenance parents who flood in and out of my room on a hourly basis?
I now have to rearrange the cribs to satisfy one parent, who "is not meaning to cause problems, but sheesh lady you are! whatever. I will move cribs around but if it isn't a quiet place to begin with so if you expect him to sleep longer than 30 minutes because of where his crib did time then you got another thing coming...What. ever. I should be able to post more, but I fear as we will get home this afternoon, the grocery shopping awaits. I dont knwo why i dread it so. I just Wegmans is huge, I get so tired, then you have to go home, put it all away then make dinner. SHeesh! Ok now im late

Which is good because I like her from the beginning I did. I am beginning to wonder if they will keep the ones that have been in the longest relationship together. Maybe Shane and Carmen will be the oldies....nah...doubt it. On break at work, and bored, i don't think anyone likes me in their office since now I am in the third office here. I can't help it I dont get one, in which to eat in. Not my fault I dont want to eat in the room where all the babies are crying and looking to me, like why arent' you picking me up?
I have andrew tonight and have no clue as to what to feed him. All I can say is if he doesn't remember his spelling homework , so help him! I had a yummy turkey sammy from Subway, small applesauce, and a choco chip cookie. Way better than the pb and lately no J sammys I have been having every day for the past 3 weeks, or so! Good day so far, only 5 babies. I can do that....
Sometimes I feel like I have all this to say and nothing comes when I get the chance to write or think about it. Its all hiding under the surface....
Maria has the run of the house today since her surgery. I hope Cleo doesn't bitch her out like she did the other day. Lordy. What is the problem. Two weeks and do we have to slowly reintroduce them again? I think Cleo got used to having the whole couch to herself and our undivided petting and attention. Not that she clammors for it or anything. Maybe just the option of it being there. She hissed her head off when she saw Maria. And after the declawing she is such a lover now. She still bites occasionally but not nearly as bad as before. I think we made the right decision. She over used her claws to climb, jump and play. Shes more gentle now. I like it. She is going to have to get used to not sleeping with us anymore. I have been breathing ok, but I still wake up all funny congested. Maybe I can deal? I still don't like her sleeping in the crib. Maybe I can just take the crib sheets off, or then she'll think she can do it when we have a baby...
Got some offers of free no strings sperm....We thought they were well...ugly..IS that so wrong? Really kids look like their dads, I would like to have a ok to cute looking start to our family...
I don't know, Maybe there are more choices out there. Maybe closer to our wedding date, cuz being pregnant and getting married, not good for the dress alterations....

I wanna go home, I just wish I could lie to say I have the stomach flu or something....I am a terrible liar however. If i did go home, all i would do is go clean then pick up andy. not like I would waste the time or anything.

So work is better, but my bosses boss gave us breaks today. Albeit pissily and she slammed my door more times than I can count but jeez.

I think the whole place is going to go down. Noone is happy and if she continues to treat us in this manner, no one will be left.

I was all excited to see Melissa Ferrick tonight...dur, yeah um next week big dork!

Happy Spring, one of my parents gave me a mug with a photo on it of all my babies, so that makes my day alot better! On the front is the pic of all teh teachers and the baby train...Ie buggy. and onthe back is the name of the school spring 06 and infant room. She is so generous

I thought i had more to write when I started this, I guess not.
More another day, when Connie doesn't take over the puter!!

Mel

Let the weekend begin. So yeah, memo avoid meetings with the boss and boss' boss and your infant team. Especially when they are about to tell you the perception is that you don't care and are there for the fucking paycheck...yeah the paycheck that barely pays the bills, that one. Fuck you. Don't tell me when I am trying my damn hardest that I don't care. Oh especially don't say stuff that you don't want the intended not to hear, cuz everyone has friends that talk to other friends. Well on the upside 2 families that I can think of, well maybe 3 or 4 of 10 are actually pleased with my work and dedication. Really not worth my time sometimes. I think I will give it a year at most. Then fuck em...I love my babies but put me in a room full of 8 babies each needing and deserving your undivided well hell, just tear me in 8 pieces you know?

End vent, for now.

Maybe I should start looking now for a new job, whilst listening to my ani.
Whom I met a couple weeks ago by the way. Fabulous exciting evening in which I felt kinda stalkerish. Well I don't know if I would ever meet her again, so make hay while the sun shines.

Connie wants to go to kittys tonight and really unless I go with friends, I don't wanna. Im hungry. I want bad for me food...Errrg

Jessica's coming over after work so that will be nice. She will listen to my weeks detail. Oh yeah..flat tire after the horrid said meeting with aforementioned assholes.

I just looked at karencroccy's photos, quite nice I may say. Liked the kittys and the outdoor photos!

Maybe I will call besitos and see if she'd do something food wise...meat free of course...hehe, oops

You're MARLIN, the worrisome guardian with good

intentions.


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Ok so I am tired and bored, but don't wanna stop being online! Long day 8 babies, then andrew, keylie, and pick the kitty up, MEOW!

I am happily ensconced in my new office...albeit cluttered but officially online! Yay! I put Keylie to bed tonight. I don't know how single parents do it, I am only awake because I have my internet back but I have to get up at 530 to get her to day care and me to work on time. Then tomorrow I have her and my 9 year old brother too. Oy, then I get to pick each of them up then pick up the kitty known as Maria from the doctor. She seems better today when I visited her. The Summer Street Cat Clinic while a lovely place, needs a new receptionist. Shes a bitch! FIRE her...My maria is better and has a pain patch that will last 72 hours so she has good kitty drugs....This is good. I don't want my kitty in any pain.

I guess I shall continue this later when I am not trying to do 3 things at once, talk to my girl who is out of town with the ex....listen to the news.....and type on this...eesh.

Be in touch

Melissa
How do you do a pic on her not from a website?

Im sorry I have been MIA, as my job and life have come to be be all and end all lately. The nerve! I am still working my tail off and desperately trying to be the best teacher I can be to my little students, but man oh man, do they test the limits of my patience. me147 I have no idea how you worked in that class, I hate it. Esp J, and l is a do-do most of the time, and d, is just well a bit um odd.
I am just biding my time till i can get a job who pays me my worth...um more than fucking 5.15 fucking minimum wage....um underpaid and under appreciated wage. Thank you fucking Dubya. Please Kerry please kerry please fix our state of the union and get him the fuck out of the house!!!!

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I am at UB now and busy busy.
My dad's in town and that's really fun. We went to chilis for lunch after I retrieved him from the airport. Then we got Connie from work and went shopping and to Cozumels for dinner and drinks. His honey is calling him so I am very happy for him!!
Go Terry!

I had an appointment with my counselor about my career. YAY! I will find a job and it will rock and it will be soon like yesterday.

I rock.

Love to my dad, my connie and Ya'll
Melissa~~~~~~~~~off to revise and update resume

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But I think everyone should take time to remember those in our lives that we love and lost and appreciate the ones we have today.

I think I am taking the plunge and moving to allentown on october first. I will be inviting all to a house(apt) warming probably about a month from now....Grin...should be fun.

I just painted the walls and hope it blends otherwise I will be irked.

Need to get drugs as I am a crampy bunny.

blah.

Hope all is well with you.
Melissa

Well tons has gone on, and I am sure if you are reading this, then you already know about it so I will not rehash. I am at Lieza's computer so this has to be brief. I am painting and babysitting like a foo. I am moving out on october first so any and all friends are expected (:)) to help. Especially ones that I have helped...grin. LOVE YOU MAN> Idaho was quite lovely and beautiful. I love my new family that I had all along but still did not know of. So still need a job, am seriously thinking governmental job, due to benefits and their appreciation to a mother. Anyhow, Weds are becoming hard to go out, so maybe soon I can have a moving in party. After all the shit is in. Well call me please I miss my friends. Love, Me